No, I Don’t Want Kids Right Now So Please Stop Asking
I will never forget the day when I was checking out at a Macy’s department store and the cashier straight up called me selfish. It was around the holidays and on this particular night, I was shopping for my two god daughters and god son. Per usual, I had went ham in the kids section and had to force myself to checkout. As the cashier is ringing up my items, he automatically assumed that I had kids. I kindly corrected him and stated that the clothes were for my god kids.
Per usual, I get the dreaded question. . . why haven’t you had kids yet? Who else hates this question just as much as I do? I think it’s so rude because you never know what someone might be going through. What if I was trying to have kids and couldn’t? What if I was experiencing a trauma from losing a child? You never know what someone could be going through. Nonetheless, I simply told the cashier that I feel I’m too young and not ready for kids. So for right now, my dog Polo is my baby (which he really is). What does he say next? You guessed it! “Well how old are you?!”
Now I’m starting to get a tad annoyed. . . like why is this man all up in my business? I kept my cool though and let him know I was currently 26. My answer must’ve struck a nerve because he told me that this is the time I should be having children and my dog will never compare to birthing an actual human being. I disregarded all of that and informed him that I’m focusing on establishing myself first by building my businesses. At this point. . . he had ENOUGH of me! Lol. He looked me dead in the face and told me I was selfish. I kind of had to laugh at it because I knew my response was going to put this cashier over the edge. Y’all know what I said right? I told him, “Yes. . . I am selfish.”
Women should not feel pressured to have kids at ANY age. If you’re not ready, or simply don’t want children, then that’s your decision. The stigmas and stereotypes of when it’s the “perfect time” to have children needs to stop. I’m currently 27 and while I definitely want children in my future, I know I’m simply not ready yet. I FULLY ENJOY being selfish. . . focusing my attention on establishing myself, building my brands and traveling the world whenever I choose to. The best part is. . . that’s absolutely fine! So don’t let anyone tell you how you should be living your life. We all have different walks of life and it’ll all be done within His timing!
Do you have people pressuring and asking you the dreaded baby question? Since I’m getting older I tend to hear it more now than ever. I’m interested to hear your stories, so let me know in the comments and please don’t forget to subscribe!
Until Next Time ASSASSINS. . . Stay Motivated!
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Hi Miss Ashley. live your life. They can’t live their life and yours. Like you said, all things in His time!
I get this all of the time as well. I’m 35 and guess what I have no plans on having children. I absolutely love my life the way it is. It’s not selfish to not have children. It’s selfish when you have children and don’t take care of them.
I’m always on the go and I LOVE to travel. I’m always amazed when the very folks who question my decision to not have children are the same ones who complain about how they are never able to do anything.Having children is a lot of work that I don’t want to do.
Please say this entire comment again for the people in the back who weren’t listening! LOL! It’s like society makes us think that we’re not complete until we have children… which is so false. I’m just like you with traveling and only worrying about myself right now. Why should we be judged for that?? Crazy part is, there are so many women who feel the same but are too afraid to say it. Thank you so much for reading and being open with your story!!!
I get called selfish all the time when I tell someone that I dont want anymore children. Then I constantly find myself having to explain why. I already have one, shes more than enough, I wouldn’t be able to afford the lifestyle that we have if two children were involved, im able to travel with her because its just her, im able to invest in her future because its just one. She deserves to have college savings and a head start on life. The conversation always ends “you’ll change your mind”. Uggh maybe but right now it’s dead set. I find it so frustrating when i hear “you’re selfish”
It’s so insane the judgement by people on how someone else should live their life… especially when it involves a child. I’m glad to hear that you didn’t let those comments change your viewpoint! You’re doing the best thing for you and your daughter right now.
Thank you so much for sharing and reading the post!!!
Chile please, be selfish. Children are wonderful and I love my son to pieces, but the world we are living in makes me work harder than I ever imagined to keep him grounded, respectful, educated, informed and passionate. Parenting is not fun. It has it’s moments and those moments make it worth it BUT in between the moments, parenting is agony and tears. I spend a lot of time grounding my son in reality that he is viewed as a threat simply because of his skin. My child keeps me on my knees in prayer.
You’ve really dropped some gems here! I can understand completely with the world we currently live in. Your advice just reassures me that I’m making the right decision for now! Having children is such a huge responsibility and I’d want to dedicate 100% of my time/attention to them.
Thank you so much for reading and dropping those gems!